Thursday, May 19, 2005 0 comments

Terribly sorry for tis late post.lol.my crappy com faced some probs again.culdnt switch it on for e past week.lol.so culdnt reali blog.one thing i wan to stress:EXAMS R OVER!.lol.so bloody much to blog abt.mayb gonna blog a reali long one or two posts.lol.anyways.even though e exams r over.thre is no time to slack or relax as e chinese 'O's r nearin.n i mean nearin.lol.11days to b exact.well.gotta reali buck up to get my target of B3.anyways.didnt blog for close to two weeks.last week was bcuz it was exams week.no one culd decribe my feelings on e final day of e exams al rite.lol.worse still,it had to b Fri 13th.lol.bfore e final paper started(POA),we were already hit abruptly by news of us receivin our Humanities n Chem papers back.wat superb news.lol.totally ruined my mood for e day.lol.so as usual,screwed up my POA paper.crap.den aft e paper got bck our papers.n i mus say,pretty disappointed wit myself.didnt managed to achieve e A1 i wanted for Humanities,n Chem was worse.lol.saw alot of failures.not surprised reali.e paper was reali tough.even if u studied ur hardest,u'll probably still find e paper tough.no kidd.my marks was pretty ridiculous,but take a look a another's one n u wuld find mine ridiculous no more.lol.well Mon was another killer blow.got a timetable tellin us wat we had for e whole week.n MT intensive n Art intensive.absoutely borin week.lol.aft e timetable blow,had to wait till e end of e day to see our results for Eng,Physics,POA.well.first up was POA,gotta say was pretty satisfied wit e result.thought i wuld screw up e paper,but ended up wit a B grade.so not too bad i wuld say.n to e future accountant tt got 95/100.well,u're damn freaky dude,but in a good way.lol.den next up was Eng,oly got our paper 2 bck.was pretty disappointed wit it bcuz as usual didnt meet e expected grade.jeez.lastly,got bck Physics n was in for a pretty rude shock.got a reali worser grade den wat i had expected.was reali disappointed n upset.but wat e heck.its over.reali gotta buck up so many times more den wat i did for mid yr.reali gotta.den on Tues was pretty mild.nth much.den YSTD:18th May.it was my b'day,but aft 16yrs of life,it was e freakin first time i actuali got sick on my b'day.wat luck.how great.lol.ate somethin wrong n had mild food poisonin.lol.thkfully i recovered by Todae,oly to receive news tt e street soccer team had a big clash wit another class.apparently e oth party started e whole bloody thing(as usual)n i wuld lyk to say to thse m****-f***** b*******,jus grow up n stop bein childish assholes tt wans to fight all day.use ur brains for once.jeez.brainless idiots.i wuld reali love to lamblast thse ppl more.but to restraint myself frm usin more vulgaritites.i hav to stop.anyways,thkfully no one was seriously hurt.e rest of e day progressed wit boredm.till aft sch,whre we received our Mid Yr results.n as expected,no As,mostly Bs,n one failure.MATHS.on e verge of givin it up already.lol.very disappointin n mus reali work alot harder for Prelims.reali hav to.wells aft tt went over to 7-11 for a light lunch wit three frens n proceeded hm aftwards.well.guess i'll stop here.shall blog sooner rather den later.lol.tc peeps.chao=blog out=



Friday, May 06, 2005 0 comments

Bfore i start,i wuld lyk to wish another person a happy b'day.my pal of 4yrs.Happy B'day Kenneth!All e best n Best wishes for ur future endeavours.Well..finally got a chance to blog todae.hahs.didnt blog ystd as my schedule was jam packed.lol.well ystd had my MT listenin compre n we had it in e hall for wat e sch wuld call a trainin for e upcomin 'O's..lol.e damn place was so freakin hot halfway thrugh e paper n i definately agreed wholeheartedly to e principle's comment,"e hall can get as hot as a sauna".well it sure did feel tt way.lol.anyways got e paper done without too much of difficulty.e rest of e day was jus borin n i bet everyones' minds were all tinkin of e same thing.GETTIN HOME.lol.culd say tt e borin day was enlightened by a super rare generous gesture frm PMS.lol.treated e whole class to ice cream n i mus say it was out of e blue n caught everyone offguard.lol.lets hope tis will b e beginnin.not e end.hahs.well.got home aft a quick lunch in sch as i wanted to catch up on my SS.unfortunately.upon reachin home.met wit a whole load of hsework to complete n was totally shacked aft doin tem.tried my best to absorb some parts into my brain to no avail.kept dozin off n in e end had a damn headache.enugh was enugh n i took two panadols n went straight to bed.lol.so Todae was kinda rushin thrugh e notes n tried to get as much as possible info into my brain.als had my Eng paper 2 n wuld say tt i hope to score wat i hav targeted.was not as difficult as i've expected.if u noe wo was e one wo set e paper,u've wuld hav e same expectation.lol.anyways got it done n as usual tried my best to stuff everythin into my tiny brain.lol.dunno if i managed to do tt.didnt managed to finish writin though.was left wit jus a few more lines but damn,time was up.sick.den aft sch went over to TP(yes thre again.lol)to get lunch.n als to celebrate Ken's b'day.reached e bus stop to see a storm n als a few oth frens.waited n waited.rain was jus gettin heavier n heavier.of cuz e lightnin n thunder didnt help at all.lol.so aft a long long wait,decided to make a dash for it.oly for a fren to arrive wit a umbrella.lol.e umbrella didnt help much though.still got soaked waist down.lol.den went over to BK to hav our long awaited lunch.aft tt our fren Bear decided to giv Ken a b'day treat over at Swensens.ordered ice cream n in e end.i wuldnt say it looks lyk ice cream anymore.lol.den aft ice cream walked ard e place.proceeded hm aftwards.well tat's abt all.nxt week's gonna b my do or die week.a whole week of exams.reali prayin tt i'll be able to pass my freakin maths.lol.well i gtg now peeps.tc.chao.
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Wednesday, May 04, 2005 0 comments

A so called poem i extracted frm a paper:
A fren shuld b radical.
he shuld hug when u're unhuggable,love when u're unlovable,and bear when u're unbearable.
A fren shuld b fanatical.
he shuld cheer when e whole world boos,Dance when u get good news and cry when u cry too.
But most of all,a fren shuld b mathematical.
he shuld multiply e joy,divide e sorrow,subtract e past and add it to tomorrow.
Calculate e need deep in ur heart,and always b bigger den e sum to all of these parts.

Hahs..aft bloggin wat i've been bottling up inside of me ystd.well.i'll personally wanna thk my sis here for undstdin wat im goin thrugh.its alot.but wit e strength of my close ones.i hope to prevail.well.wat a day it has been todae.takin aside frm my own story here,i wuld lyk to wish two frens of mine,EOIN aka BOSS n JASMINE a very happy B'day.!May u be blessed in ur future endeavours.well.back to my story.sch todae was an absolute bore.felt so mentally strained for e second half of sch.lol.e highligh definitely was aft sch.went over to opposite of sch to celebrate Jasmine's b'day.e gals baked a cake by themselves n i mus say well done.e cake was edible.thk god.lol.in fact.it didnt taste as bad as i expected.lol.aft e mini celebration,proceeded over to TP for lunch.went to KFC wit Sandy n Jasmine.upon reachin e place,saw a familiar face.he seem to hav got himself into some trouble wit some gangstas.saw tey talkin heatedly.didnt reali bother since e ass is not someone i wuld gladly call 'fren'.overheard one of e gangstas' conversation on e fone.was pretty obvious he was callin more ppl down.so to some extent was waitin for a 'show' to start.lol.unfortunately or fortunately,e matter seem to b settled n no fists were raised.which is a waste actuali.lol.cuz i was lookin foward to e ass being bashed up.his fren came over to acknowledge Jasmine n she was tellin us tt tis guy was tinkin of abusive language wit A-Z as headers.lol.lame n absolutely uncalled for.he reali deserved to get bashed.anyways.ignored e matter n had a reali good time talkin to my frens as we talked abt almost everythin und e sun.topics ranging frm how a common folk looked to how our lives hav been.seriously had a great time.laughed lyk nuts n it was reali great to feel tt way again.has been a long time since i actuali laughed tt much.wish tt everyday wuld b lyk tt.but obviously its not possible.imagine our shock when we realised we spent close to 3hrs in KFC.lol.didnt realise e time at all man.but lyk tey all say.laughter is e best thing to do to pass time.agreed wit no doubts at all.decided to go home aft much relention.hahs.went separate ways upon reachin e bus stop n proceeded hm.tc peeps.chao.
=blog out=



Tuesday, May 03, 2005 0 comments

Hey thre...well..reali feelin out of sorts for e past few days.been hidin tis feelin inside me for lyk foreva.well.i guess frm now on,i will hav to depend on tis blog of mine to store my thoughts n feelings for a long time.been tinkin alot.not jus for e past few days.in fact it has been for e past few weeks.i seriously dunno sometimes wat e hell am i tinkin abt.but my thoughts jus keep runnin round n round my head.am reali on e verge of a mental breakdown.dunno wat's wrong wit me.im jus probably a sickenin asshole wo wun stop givin ppl probs.i hate myself.i hate my life.my sickenin life whre i wish i wasnt born at all.but since im born i guess i hav to bear all tis sufferin.by myself.i dun mind.but sometimes its so extreme its drivin me nuts.family's financial prob.always no money tey say.but in e end,wat happend?tey can spend more den hundred over bucks on bettin.no money?is tt reali e case?i beg to differ.but wat can i do?can i stop tem?e ans is a NO.nv can i n nv will i.its reali sick to see my frens blessed wit something new every week while i get stuck wit e same old stuff.not tt i mind though.jus tt whenever i wan to buy something.tey say no money.is tt for real?i always ask myself.6 more yrs to go till im officially 21 n free frm all thse shit.6 more fcukin yrs.i can wait.cuz i noe its gonna b worth it.once i get out of tis dump im living in.well im so bloody sure my life's gonna b better.much better in fact.den sch.studies,studies,studies.humanities?fair enugh,i can excel in tt.but is it as impt as maths?no.my maths results?been failin since sec 2 n i hav nv seen a passing grade ever again.i always try my best as tey always say to me.but in e end,wat do i get?E8,F9.i've seen tem all.not once hav i been able to njoy lookin at my maths grades.nv once.e 'O's tis yr n my maths is not lookin up.not good.if i dun get a C6 minimum.i'll nv get into e course i desire in poly.jus great.always wishin tt maths wasnt invented but always a waste of time bcuz its pointless tinkin abt tis kind of shit.so much pressure.too much in fact.tryin my very best to withold it.cant take it much longer.gonna explode one day.hopefully not in sch.each n every day i wake up n tell myself."samuel,todae is another beginning.pls control ur bad temper.pls do not get urself into trouble."each n every day im glad when i come home n knew tt i managed to control my temper.but e rage inside me keeps buildin up.its so much it can fill up a lot of stuffs.not oly rage i say.rage is jus another one of e things i keep inside me.n does anyone noes?NO.wy?simple.simply bcuz i refuse to tell anyone.i dun wan to b anyone's burden.i've finally realised tt im destined to b a singleton my whole life.jus ystd.aft soccer,watchin each of my frens leavin wit their girlfrens to either home or lunch makes me envy tem.n tis envy has been goin on for a long time.i've had enugh of it.girls n me r jus not it.nvm.being a loner aint tt bad.i guess.15yrs.4 yrs of life facin rejections.breakups.no happy endin.not once.am i sick of it?yes i am.im fcukin sick of it.sick of always being e one waitin for e oth person.nv e oth way round.sick of being able to oly look frm afar at e person i love.tis is makin me nuts.tis is makin me change.im changin.i noe it.i jus dunno wy.i wish i culd stop tis life once n for all.BUT I CANT.help me somebody.i reali need it.thse few days i've been tinkin.i always seem to fall for e wrong person.n tis will b e last bloody time i even lyk a person anymore.am sick of it.all e couples pls stay away frm me.im allergic to u.sometimes when im alone.i feel so lonely.wish thre is jus one person tt can b thre for me.in times of sadness or happiness.tis person will b thre for me no matter wat.but i noe its an impossible dream.im always dreamin anyways.sometimes i feel lyk cryin it out.but e tears cant seem to flow.its all stuck inside of me.everythin is stuck inside of me.i wanna vent my frustrations.my anger.my sadness.but how?its not possible.sis i noe i've been actin weird n kinda cold to u but i feel tt i reali musnt get to close to u.i dunno wy.i jus feel tt ben wun lyk it.n i dun wan to be e next to fall for u.im reali sorry for e way im treatin u.ten millions of sorry.i will try my best to be normal.but if u read wat i wrote up thre.u'll noe its reali very difficult for me.so very difficult.im sorry.i reali dun wanna hurt u in any way.pls undstd.u're probably e oly person in tis world i can truly trust.so pls undstd.i reali do hope u do.each n every day.im jus living for e time when tis life of mine will truly end once n for all.



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