Letters to You- FinchAs I'm typing this entry, I'm eagerly anticipating my time at OBS, which will, well (what do you know?) starts tomorrow. In any case, I can't wait for it to happen. It's just so happens I'm once again, going throught that emo period again, and this camp might just prove to be my escape.
I know, I know, I shouldn't been blogging about emo stuff, but seriously, sometimes I just can't help it. Things at home's been horrible. I lose descriptives to describe the place anymore. Sometimes it's hell, sometimes its heaven. I can't take it, the endless swinging around. And to be true, it's more hell than heaven most of the time. They always expect me to do every single thing in the house, and I never ever complain. I don't mind doing housework, in fact, I enjoy doing it, but shouting at the top of your voice to make me do it? It not only pisses me off, it puts me off doing housework as well. What's wrong with talking politely?! Is it a fucking crime to talk politely? I wonder sometimes. And whenever something goes wrong, I'm the first to be blamed. Like hello? Does it always have to be me all the time?! I hate being accused, and I really mean it when I say I hate it. Like the younger one's always right, never wrong. FUCK. I seriously can't wait till I'm like 21 years old and leave this dump. I've held all this in me for the past few years. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Sometimes when I look around and see happy couples, it hurts. How I've always wished I had a loved one beside me all these while, to listen, to give encouragement. But I know this day will never come. I just have no luck in relationships. 4 relationships, 4 heartbreaks. It makes my heart bleed whenever there's a breakup and I'm not the initiator. It SUCKS. Sometimes, a listening ear is all I asked for. Is that too much? They all say my day will come. I say that day will NEVER come. Call me a pessimisst, but thats what I am. Sometimes, I really wonder whats my point in existance, what do I exist for? To suffer?Alright. That rant helped. I think I feel much better. Well, I think. Anyways, I went out yesterday to get my camp stuff I needed, first with Kenneth, over at Beach Road. It was quite a tough place to find, but we found it nonetheless. Got the items, and we headed over to Bugis Junction to just sit&talk. It was nice, I mean, obviously. This best friend of mine for the past 5 years has been at times, my pillar of strength, my listening buddy, my advice friend. It sounds a little mushy,(does it?) but I don't care. I can't thank God enough for blessing me with this buddy.
We had our own appointments, so we went our separate ways shortly after, and I went to meet Germaine! That BLUR girl, actually managed to see me today at the train station! (Sorry Germaine, I can't help it.) Well, I managed to find out that both our dads bear uncanny similarities! Like the same surname, ALMOST the same name, born in the same year. They almost sound like long lost twins! And both of us have a younger brother. How uncanny. Anyway, we went to Cold Storage to get the remaining of my camp stuff, and off we went our separate ways again since she's meeting her friend, and I, had to go back home. You know why, right Germaine? LOL.
Well,I apologise if today's entry sound very emo and all, but I really can't find another outlet to vent my frustrations. I wish I could,though. Oh well. I'll be leaving for OBS in less than a day, so hopefully I'll be able to have fun, and make more new aquaintances.
'Someone once told me life's like Monopoly, your life's determined by how many steps you take, you either go to jail, or make big bucks.' Sometimes I wonder if this is true after all.
